I’ve wanted to learn how to crochet for a while now, and the season’s first snowfall felt like a good time to start. I spent the first day trying to learn a basic stitch and felt confident I was doing it right. That was until I reached an unexpected problem.
My fingers followed the thread until I discovered a point where the thread looped and twisted around itself, forming dozens of knots. So, I set my crochet hook down, cozied up on the floor, and attended to the knotted yarn before me.
Isn’t this life? We try to make something useful and productive of ourselves—something we can wear proudly around our necks. Until there comes a time when our stories catch up with us, and we reach an unexpected knot—or potentially more than we can handle.
When this happens, there are a few different ways to approach it:
Option three isn't the easiest route, but it is well worth the effort. The first challenge is getting used to how much time it takes. The amount of patience it takes to untangle a skein of yarn was not something I was prepared for, just like healing. Secondly, it is intimidating. Where do you even begin? How do we know if we can get it untangled? Can our life become something more? Even if we think we have a good grasp on our stories, we still have to learn how to stitch the details together, and we need the patience it takes to tell a narrative that honors our experiences with a level of self-compassion that dismantles shame.
Maybe we won’t have a beautiful, flawless scarf to keep us warm on the first attempt. Or the second. Or the third. But with practice and receiving the guidance of another, can you go back to the ball of yarn you set aside in frustration—knots and all—and hold it tenderly in your hands? By tending to your story and allowing others to see where your narrative got off, you can create something that you can proudly wear or, even better, pass on in your legacy.
If you are starting to weave together your story and make sense of how it shaped you, but the yarn you’re pulling from is tangled, take my advice. You must hold your life tenderly and be patient enough to follow the thread. You may need someone else to model compassion and loosen the knots until you feel ready. To weave our knots into narratives, we must be willing to ask hard questions and start from the beginning, even if we have no proof of progress. Trust me. The result will be beautiful.
Hello! I’m Lisa, a registered nurse, artist, and mental health educator. If you're interested in this work, join my next Narrative Focused Trauma Care group for women. In this group, you will engage formative stories through embodied writing, poetry, and expressive art—as well as any resistance you feel towards play, creativity, and rest in the process. I hope you’ll join me and my colleague Molly Crouch for the next group!
